requiem for the lovesick
by ninejs
Summary: "I'm no love doctor." Or: Doctor P doesn't know how she got roped into this. —paine, tidus/yuna


**moved 5/6/17. originally written 2/16/16.**

 **this was a late valentine's day piece. i'm an annoying tidus stan, and paine is another one of my faves, so i wrote this because i desperately want them to interact.**

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Despite her dislike of staying in one place for too long, Paine found she didn't mind Besaid very much. The villagers were kind, and even if the island was busy with Blitzball practice or said players scrambling around their former captain's baby, it was still easy to sit around and relax. Today was no different - the ocean waves were calming background noise to Paine as she turned a page in her book —

A groan sounded from somewhere beside her. Paine didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"Stop that."

"Well, jeez, you don't have to be so rude!" Tidus stated, clearly offended by Paine's lack of concern for his problem.

When he looked back up at the woman, though, he realized he shouldn't be so surprised. She hadn't looked away from her book at any point during their one-sided conversation. Tidus knew this to be normal Paine, even if he had only known her for a short while. It was one of the first things Yuna had told him about the mysterious sphere hunter.

Yuna. Just thinking about her made Tidus release a long, drawn out sigh.

"Fine. What is it?" Paine shut her book with a loud clap and turned to look at the young man who had star-fished out on the sand.

"I got into a fight with Yuna," he answered sadly. Fights with Yuna didn't happen often - or, at all, really, but since he had returned to a Sin-free world, there were certain changes that both members of the relationship had to adjust to.

Paine let out her own long sigh. Tidus' sadness had been a bit alarming - and a part of her was concerned for the state of his relationship, if only because her dear friend was his girlfriend.

"And why are you telling _me_ this?" she asked, wishing she could go back to her book. She was getting close to the end, and things were really heating up.

Tidus shrugged, "Because you're Doctor P. You give a lot of right answers, I guess."

Paine was silent for a moment, cursing Gippal for that stupid nickname and its even stupider lasting effects.

"I'm no love doctor, Tidus," she said, suddenly, staring at him as if he had two heads, "Go ask Lulu. She's better suited to this than I am."

Tidus let out another whiny groan. "I already tried. She's busy with Vidina, and I'm not gonna take a mother away from her son. Talk about selfish."

"And yet you'll take _me_ away from my book?"

"Your book won't get into trouble if you look away from it for two seconds!"

Paine sighed ( _again_ ) and silently conceded. He had a point, if a stupid, silly one. The more she got to know Tidus, the more she saw how similar he was to a certain Al Bhed friend of theirs. It was no wonder that when the two of them were together she was suddenly exhausted.

"Okay, fine. I'll help you."

Tidus cheered loudly, and Paine felt the need to lie down.

"First, tell me what you two fought about. I can't very well help you if I don't know what the problem is."

The blonde Blitzball player nodded and took a deep breath. Paine had the feeling that it would be a long tale, and the need to lie down was slowly growing more and more.

"Well, y'know the Blitzball tournament is coming up, right?"

"Yes, I do. Despite what you may think, I'm not _that_ out of the loop."

Tidus threw his hands up in mock defense, but at Paine's sharp glare, he continued his story. He knew the glare was code for _hurry up, idiot_.

"Well, naturally, I wanna go. But when I asked Yuna about it, she just got really mad. Like, _scary_ mad," Tidus shivered at the memory, "I don't really understand why. Everybody and their mom knows I'm a Blitzball player! Heck, it's in my blood! So I just don't understand why she'd be mad at me going to the tournament... And I don't know what to do..."

Paine stared in disbelief. For a moment, she considered walking away and leaving Tidus behind to figure out the answer himself. She blinked slowly, and before she said anything too rude, remembered that Tidus was so unused to even the very notion of having a fight with his girlfriend. With that revelation, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Have you tried... _asking_ her about why she doesn't want you to go?" She tried to keep it as less sarcastic as she could. She didn't think it worked.

"Well, no, but—"

"Tidus. Just go talk to her already. I'm sure she wants to fix this just as much as you do, but you're not going to solve anything by talking to _me_."

Tidus nodded and reluctantly got up to go find Yuna and talk to her. Paine grabbed her book, but couldn't concentrate on reading. Why didn't people in relationships just talk to _one another_ instead of talking to _other_ people to fix their problems? For as long as she could remember, Paine hadn't understood why. She didn't think she ever would, even if she ended up in a relationship of her own one day.

What drove her even _crazier_ was the fact that Tidus hadn't even entertained the _thought_ of talking to his own girlfriend! The two of them were so close that she was honestly surprised. But then she thought about Tidus, and well...

She shut her book, deciding instead to lie down on the sand. The need to do so hadn't passed, and even when she saw Tidus and Yuna exiting a hut holding hands and being as cutesy and lovey-dovey as they normally were, she didn't get up.

Paine didn't know how long she'd have to lay here. Just until she processed the day's events


End file.
